The Female Leadership Paradox

A Write-Up of the June 3, 2011 Corporate Leadership Circle (CLC) Conference Call with Author Mirella Visser and Families and Work Institute’s President Ellen Galinsky

by Maple Topol Kirby, Families and Work Institute Intern

Even though there are not many female leaders, that does not mean they are not good leaders. Women actually have more leadership positions, but they are all clumped at the bottom. Women are great leaders. They just have not shown up as leaders much yet.

For a long time, the metaphors about women have been historically negative (the glass ceiling, etc.). There still is a glass ceiling, but we need to change the language and thinking. And with that new thinking, the changes will come. Mirella comes up with new metaphors like “the silk road to the top” or “women and men in leadership creates prosperity and moves us all forward.”

Women who reach top positions get there through different roads, and this is a positive thing. Women have a new type of management style: flexibility, softness without losing strength, finesse and eye for detail. Women reach the top in a new and unique way.

Mirella addresses many questions in her book. Patterns appeared. For example:

“What happened? I was on the way to a promotion, but now my colleagues are getting the promotions. Why was I not promoted when I am the most qualified?”

Women rely on performance. We rely on our passion and results, credentials, track record. But when you move up the levels, it doesn’t all depend on performance. There are leadership (power and promotion) components that women should not forget (but tend to forget). Power equals being able to work up networks of importance. In senior management positions, you need networks outside your company (as well as your previous networks within your company). Then you can rely on resources outside your organization. Promotion equals self-concept.

Some advice: take a look at where you are in your organization. What are your ambitions? How can you grow to where you want to be? Are you in the right initial position? Are you taking the right steps to move up? Strategic networking.

“How do you get on a board?” (More boards are looking for women because they are good leaders.) For a board position, it’s a five-year plan. You need that planning time!

But when do you stick to your plan or leave your current place and go someplace else? Never leave a company because of one person. There is always a way around that person. Take a step back and look at the situation. Is it a company-wide problem or just very specific to one person? If you leave, do not burn bridges. You want to keep your networks.

Women and men show their emotions differently. Men may stomp and throw, while women eternalize their emotions and may end up crying. We need to communicate. We need to understand each others’ perspective.

For women in complicated roles, you should limit the time that you are at that level. Are the roles even going to lead to management? Make a plan to leave in three years, five years. Don’t worry about trying to make everyone happy at the lowest level. (We always end up focusing on performance, but we shouldn’t.)

Globally, there is a quota legislature. For example, in Norway, companies need to have at least 40 percent of their board members be women. (And there are penalties at different levels.) Different levels of this legislation with different levels of penalties are all around Europe.

There have been huge changes in the number of women on boards. Are the better cultures for women because of the women on boards, or did they lead to women on the boards? What is causal? Research!

It is great to have new powerful women role models. Learn from them, but do not be too harsh of them.

Families and Work Institute has found that men and women in managerial positions all cite the same qualities that make them a good leader. But when you ask people to name great leaders “of the top of their heads,” 90 percent of the names given are male. But most of those leaders are known for their empathy and communication skills, which are female traits.

This next decade will really be a time of change. Let’s hope that the trend of women outpacing men in their educational attainment means that more women will reach the higher positions for which they are suited!