Dads Spending Time on Baby, Not Baby Talk

Dads Spending Time on Baby, Not Baby Talk

Fathers want to step up at home when it comes to caring for their children.

But stepping up involves speaking up—to their babies—which they may be less likely to do, according to a study published in the December 2014 issues of Pediatrics.

This study, led by director of the Providence, Rhode Island Women & Infants Neonatal Follow-Up Clinic, Betty R. Vohr, MD, FAAP, equipped babies with microphones and asked the parents to turn them on when both were around.

In looking at the data over time, they found that babies heard more words from mothers than fathers, and that fathers were less likely to speak in what researcher Patricia Kuhl of the University of Washington calls parentese than mothers. When parents speak parentese, they slow down their speech, their voices are musical, and their facial expressions are dramatic. Babies much prefer parentese, and they learn more when parents speak this way.

Why does this matter? Because fathers may be losing an opportunity to help their babies learn language, which is the single best predictor of how children do in school, according to many, many studies.

Myths about generational difference abound, but there is one change that’s anything but a myth. It is that younger fathers— especially Millennials and Gen Xers—are much more committed to being involved in their children’s lives and are spending more time being with and caring for their children than fathers in other generations.

Fathers don’t want to be stick figures in their children’s lives!

Unfortunately, so much of the research on children’s learning has been focused on mothers, but that needs to change.

This new study in Pediatrics is unique in that it includes fathers as well as mothers. Yet it like many other studies counted the words that children hear and that is only part of the story.

A study that is being featured today as a keynote at the Annual Conference of the National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC) in Dallas shows that counting words is not enough. The researchers (Kathy Hirsh-Pasek of Temple University, Roberta Golinkoff of the University of Delaware and Lauren Anderson of Georgia State University) found that the way that mothers (yes, only mothers were studied) talk with children matters more. Three things stand out in predicting children’s later positive language development:

  • the adult cares—they are engaged in looking at and talking about something that both are interested in;
  • they have done this before—the child knows what to expect because they have had conversations (with and without words) like this before; and
  • the conversations are fluid and connected—they go back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.

It is so important to tell the whole story when reporting research to families and professionals.

From the study in Pediatrics this week, all of us can learn how important men are to the development of children’s language. From the study being featured at NAEYC, all of us can learn that it is HOW we talk to young children that makes all the difference.

Ellen Galinsky has been committed to telling the whole story of child and brain development research through Mind in the Making. She is the Bezos Family Foundation Chief Science Officer and Founder/Executive Director of Mind in the Making. As president and co-founder of Families and Work Institute (FWI), she helped establish the field of work and family life during the time she was at Bank Street College of Education, where she was on the faculty for 25 years. Her more than 100 books and reports include the best-selling Mind in the Making: The Seven Essential Life Skills Every Child Needs, Ask The Children, and the now classic The Six Stages of Parenthood. She has published over 300 articles in journals, books and magazines. She co-directs the National Study of the Changing Workforce, the most comprehensive nationally representative study of the U.S. workforce–updated every five to six years.

Jacklyn “Jackie” Bezos is committed to telling the whole story of child and brain development research through Vroom. She is president and co-founder of the Bezos Family Foundation, which supports rigorous, inspired learning environments for young people to put their education into action. Through investments in research, public awareness and programs, the foundation aims to elevate the field of education and improve life outcomes for children. At the core of the foundation’s work is a belief that all young people deserve the chance to achieve their full potential and make a meaningful contribution to society. Through the foundation, Bezos has pioneered collaborative initiatives that give young people a platform to co-create solutions, including the Bezos Scholars Program at the Aspen Institute, the Aspen Challenge and Students Rebuild.

Reprinted from The Huffington Post

 

Understanding the Language Of Children’s Behavior: Lessons From the Research of Berry Brazelton

Understanding the Language Of Children’s Behavior: Lessons From the Research of Berry Brazelton

On May 10, 2012, pediatrician T. Berry Brazelton turned 94 years old. On June 18, 2010 The White House honored him as a Champion of Change. On February 15, President Obama awarded Dr. Brazelton the Presidential Citizens Medal, the nation’s second-highest civilian honor.

If you asked this inspirational man—this Professor of Pediatrics Emeritus at Harvard Medical School, this author of the best-selling Touchpoint books, this star of the long-running Lifetime Television show What Every Baby Knows, this founder of the Brazelton Touchpoints Center—what his most significant accomplishment is, as I did when he received the Families and Work Institute’s Work Life Legacy Award in 2010 and when I interviewed him for Mind in the Making, he said: “The Newborn Assessment was really probably the most important thing I ever did for the field.”

The Neonatal Newborn Assessment does, in fact, well represent Brazelton’s larger contributions, because it, like his other work, helps parents and professionals understand the language of children’s behavior and helps us all feel more competent in teaching and caring for children.

Brazelton’s passion to understand children has deep roots in his Texas childhood:

As the oldest grandchild of about nine, my grandmother, Berry—whom I was named for—always wanted me to take care of these other cousins for every event that went on at her house. And since I had eight small children to care for, I had to learn how to get inside of them and see how their brains were working. I found that so fascinating, because once you’ve understood what they were doing, you could take care of eight children at once.

His passion to understand children also has roots in his disdain for the typical attitude among professionals about parents when he began practice as as a pediatrician in the 1950s. Hre recalls, “Everybody blamed the parents when things went wrong with the child.”

Brazelton realized—especially from being a parent himself—that children’s behavior affects parents just as parents’ behavior affects children. It is a two-way street. So he became committed to help parents start this journey of parenthood in a positive direction.

Brazelton also felt that most people didn’t fully understand the capacities of newborns. He remembers that even as late as the 1970s. “We still didn’t think babies could see or hear. Where did we get such a stupid idea?”

But he observed something different. He saw that newborns, even just after birth, had many unique ways of being connected to what was happening around them. It seemed to him that if we as adults could find better ways to tune in to what infants were doing, we could better understand their experiences. To help doctors and families interpret the “language” of the newborn, Brazelton created the Neonatal Behavioral Assessment Scale as a translation and assessment tool.

Observing that the typical newborn pediatric examination at that time tended to over-stimulate newborns, Brazelton saw that the way a baby responds to stimulation tells us a lot about the baby’s inborn temperament. He also saw that when babies react to over-stimulation by turning away or falling asleep, this is a positive response—it’s the beginning of self-control.

I have accompanied Brazelton into the hospital rooms of newborns and their parents immediately after childbirth and watched him use the Brazelton Neonatal Behavioral Assessment Scale with these tiny infants in their first few moments in the world. He holds the baby gently and exclaims over him or her to the parents and then conducts his assessment, which includes stimulating the newborn with a flashlight and a rattle.

These babies, born just minutes or hours before, typically startle at the noise or light and then find a way to recover — by sucking a finger, shutting their eyes or turning away from the commotion.

The way the baby calms down tells the parents and pediatrician something about how this particular baby responds to a new and somewhat challenging experience. Brazelton then talks to the parents about their child’s style of controlling emotions and about how important this skill is to the child’s later development. And that’s precisely the goal—to help parents understand their unique child and give them confidence. He says:

The goal for the Neonatal Assessment was to share this assessment with parents so they understood what kind of person they were getting and could put all of their passion right where it belonged—with that child.

The question I’ve always gotten from a new parent is, “How am I going to know what kind of person this is?” And as soon as you play with a baby, you know!

Not content to rest on his laurels, Brazelton enumerated the work yet to be done when he was honored by The White House, concluding: “We can and must do more. I’m 94 years old, but I’m not done. There’s more to do.”

When I think of what being a parent was like when my own children were born versus now, I am forever grateful for all that Berry Brazelton did!

Reprinted from The Huffington Post

A Moment We’ve Been Waiting For!

A Moment We’ve Been Waiting For!

You may wonder why I am cheering as loud as I can about today’s release of the National Academy of Sciences report that answers the question: “Does quality early childhood education lead to more successful lives as adults?”

It’s because the Academy’s answer is a resounding YES!

Exactly 30 years ago—the fall of 1990—I was speaking to a “live” cheering crowd of 5,000 members of the National Association for the Education of Young Children. The legislation for the Child Care and Development Block Grant was coming up for a vote (it passed, as you know) and we wanted to make sure that:

  • Child care and early education were seen as inextricable. “Children can’t learn if they aren’t cared for” was one mantra.
  • The focus has to be on quality. We worried about over promising the impact of early education without an explicit quality assurance.
  • It was known that teaching and caring for young children requires enormous knowledge and skill. When asked what we did, some of us said, “Investments?” “Oh, stock and bonds?” was the answer. “No investing in young children,” we replied.
  • All children deserve quality, not just some. Equity must be a focus.
  • This would require new funds from government, business and philanthropy. Otherwise, the three-legged stool of quality, accessibility and affordability would collapse.

The report released today—which is backed by decades of research—addresses all of these concerns. Listen to my interview with scholar Dr. Patricia Kuhl of the University of Washington. She’s one of 12 councilors to the National Academy of Sciences and shares with me the backstory on the Academy, along with key report findings. After you watch, I hope you will cheer along with me… and help spread the word!

Critical Thinking—The Gift of Curiosity: Lessons from Laura Schulz

Critical Thinking—The Gift of Curiosity: Lessons from Laura Schulz

Have you ever noticed that your toddler spends more time playing with the gift-wrapping than the present that was wrapped inside? Or that your older children lose interest in a new toy if that toy has just one way to play with it, and instead gravitate back to materials, like blocks, crayons, miniature animals or iPads where the possibilities are endless?

I have been writing on the researchers and neuroscientists who have genuinely inspired me in my journey to create Mind in the Making, I am sharing the story of Laura Schulz of MIT. Her studies help explain what curiosity is and thus how to promote children’s curiosity in the gifts we give them.

I am not sure about other parents, but I didn’t think too much about curiosity except to assume that my children were naturally curious. They wondered about everything that was new and were bursting with endless questions: “What’s that?” And, “Why, why, why.” Interestingly, however, the research on children’s curiosity reveals that is it far more complex than this.

Laura Schulz has been being curious about curiosity throughout her career and finds not surprisingly, that children—in fact all of us—are curious about what’s new. But there are other drivers of curiosity. Schulz explains:

We often seem to be curious about things that aren’t particularly novel—they just puzzle us.

Her quest to understand curiosity has led to new insights:

I think there are two different things that can provoke curiosity. The simplest one is a violation of your prior beliefs. You go into an experience with a certain expectation that “this is the way the world is,” and then you see some evidence that’s inconsistent with that.

When this happens, Schulz says:

You have to do something with that evidence. You can deny it. You can try to explain it away. You could realize that your beliefs are wrong and that they have to change. But one way or another, you need more information to figure out what to do.

Children also become curious when they have two competing expectations or theories. Schulz elaborates:

The other time you might be curious is if you see evidence that fails to distinguish among competing beliefs. There are many things that might be true, and the evidence just doesn’t determine which one is the case.

In scientific terms, when people are trying to understand how things work, they are typically trying to understand causal relationships—what causes something to happen. A toddler might be trying to understand what happens if she pushes her rubber duck underwater in the bathtub. Does it always rise back up to the surface? Yes, it does. That kind of evidence, in scientific terms, is “unconfounded”—there’s a clear and consistent cause and effect. When Schulz talks about “competing beliefs” where “many things might be true,” she’s talking about “confounded evidence”—it’s not clear exactly what the causes are.

Schulz and one of her graduate students, Elizabeth Baraff Bonawitz, created a study to further explore the question of when children remain curious. They designed a red jack-in-the-box toy that has two levers, one on each side. When both levers are pushed at the exact same time, two toys—a straw puppet and a duck—pop up. This toy demonstrates a “confounded” experience: there’s no way to determine how the toy works simply by looking at it. Maybe it takes both levers to make the toy work or maybe it doesn’t.

In the experiment, an experimenter shows preschool-aged children this toy. The experimenter says to each child, “You push down your lever and I’ll push down my lever at the same time.” They count to three and each pushes one of the levers. Both the puppet and the duck pop up. Although they repeat this action several times, the child can’t figure out from this process which lever controls which pop-up toy.

A second group of children is introduced to the toy in a different way. After the experimenter and the child push down the levers at the same time, they each take turns. The child can easily see which lever controls the duck and which lever controls the puppet. Then, as Schulz explains:

We take that jack-in-the-box away. We bring it right back out along with a brand-new box that the children have never played with before.

Normally, children would be drawn to the new yellow toy because children are curious about what’s new. But that didn’t happen for one of the groups of children in the experiment.

The researchers found that the children who knew how the old red jack-in-the-box worked (that is, they had unambiguous or unconfounded information) went to play with the new box. But the children who didn’t know how it worked (they had ambiguous or confounded information) kept playing with it, as you will see in this video of the experiment.

There are some very important lessons for me in this study by Laura Schulz. The first is to give children gifts that puzzle them, that intrigue them, that make them want to find out more. Rather than toys with just one way to use them, give them toys that can be used in many ways–that’s why the classic toys (like materials to use in building and creating or exploring) remain classic.

But the second lesson is far more important. It’s how we respond to children when they ask us their endless questions—”What’s that?” or “Why, why, why.”

Often we are so busy that we want to slough off their questions or tell what we think so we can finish everything on our to-do lists. But if we want our children to remain curious, we will find times when we can stop, notice what they are curious about and then ask them questions to keep them curious and wanting to explore. For example, we might say:

Why do you think that rubber duck always pops up when you push it underwater in the bathtub? Do you think if you put a washcloth on top of it, it would stay underwater? Do you think your empty shampoo bottle would float? Do you think it would float if we filled it with water?

Or with older children, we might say:

Why do you think your friend seemed unhappy at the party? Was it something that might have happened to her? Was it something that happened between you? What might make things better for him?

It is by remaining curious that children learn, whether about the natural world or about people. And that is a gift that lasts!

Reprinted from The Huffington Post

Taking on Challenges—Helping Children to Learn to Take on Challenges: Lessons from Heidelise Als

Taking on Challenges—Helping Children to Learn to Take on Challenges: Lessons from Heidelise Als

This is part of a series to share the findings of child development researchers and neuroscientists who have genuinely inspired me in my journey to create Mind in the Making. Their research is truly “research to live by.”

I’m writing about Heidelise Als of Harvard University, because her studies are so instructive in how we can help children deal with challenges and learn to become stronger as a result. Perhaps surprisingly, learning this skill doesn’t just happen when children are older. Als’ research is with pre-term babies born 10 to 12 weeks before their due date—the most fragile babies in neonatal intensive care units. When adults watch what young children do to cope successfully and then create situations where they can do more of the same, the process for learning to take on challenges is seeded.

The insight that led to Als’ research began in her native Germany when she was as a teacher of 3rd grade boys. One of the boys, Reinhart, always came to school early, sat in his seat close to the front of the classroom, lined up all of his pencils and books on the desk and was ready for the day to begin. Since Reinhart was doing very well and got good grades, Als decided to move him farther back in the room so another child who needed extra help could have a seat in the front. She says:

Reinhart moved promptly, yet the next day he didn’t come in. He had never missed a day of school. I was very concerned. He didn’t come the next day.

After a few days, Als stopped by the bakery Reinhart’s family ran. His mother told her that the doctor couldn’t find anything wrong, but her son had been vomiting. The clue came when Reinhart’s mother mentioned, “He did tell me you moved his seat, and he’s now sitting farther back.” Als says:

I learned from that that despite seeing the image of a very competent child, I should have known from his need to have everything lined up at the start of the school day—that he didn’t have the flexibility that other children had.

Reinhart was given his old seat back when he returned to school, but Als gained even more from that experience. She learned how important it is to “read” the language of children’s behavior, to figure out how they cope best and then build on their own positive coping strategies. This lesson was reinforced after she moved to the U.S. to attend graduate school and had her own child, who is significantly brain damaged. She had to learn to understand the language of his behavior in order to help him.

Als brought that sensitivity into her research on premature babies. Through advances in technology in the 1970s, these babies, who couldn’t yet breathe on their own, could be kept alive with medical ventilators that, in effect, breathed for them. What really interested Als was “to see what these babies were up against” and how they were handling these stressful situations.

As she observed them, it became clear to her that good medical care was coming at the price of good developmental care:

The premature babies would be pinned down, held down, strapped down, and even chemically treated, if needed, so that they would not breathe against the ventilator in order to let the ventilator do the work that it needed to do.

A similar kind of scene took place when a nurse or doctor wanted to check on a baby, listen to the baby’s heart rate or change him or her:

The baby would just splay out—all four limbs would fly out, and then the baby would try to grasp at something, but the nurse by then would already be putting her stethoscope on the chest, listening to the chest sounds. And then she would turn the baby over again and listen to the back, and then she would start to suction his lungs and then she would give a nebulizer treatment.

As the check-up progressed, Als reports, babies would become more and more distraught; finally, they would “go limp and typically stop breathing.” It was clear to Heidelise Als that the medical care was so focused on caring for these premature babies’ hearts or lungs that they were neglecting the care of the whole child:

It seemed we were wasting a lot of the baby’s energies that were very precious. We were going against the baby. We were pushing the baby to become exhausted and give in.

When a baby who was initially feisty gave in, the medical charts would record that the baby had become well adjusted. But Als saw a different reality:

The baby had given up. The baby just let the world happen.

Als and her colleagues—nurses and doctors—set out to improve developmental care and to document that it can make a difference. They thought of this as listening to their behavioral “language.” She says:

If we can understand the ‘words’ the baby is saying, maybe we can fill in the meaning of the sentence and understand the message.

These observations led to solutions. For example, if the baby’s hands splay out, give the baby something to hold onto. If the baby is squirming under the bright lights, make the lighting softer. If the baby is getting agitated, hold the baby until his or her breathing becomes more stable. After documenting and recording behavior, they launched into a study where the nurses “read” and then responded to the baby’s behavior in ways that built on that baby’s coping strategies, and thus gave the baby more control.

The results of this experiment were impressive. There was reduced severity of chronic lung disease in these premature babies, improved brain functioning, improved growth and earlier release from the hospital. In addition, their care was significantly less costly.

Here’s the lesson I take from this. Children, even those as young as premature infants, are less prone to the harmful effects of stress when they are supported in managing their own stress by being helped to use the strategies they have for coping and for calming down.

And when children are older, they can become an even more active part of figuring out themselves how to deal with tough times.

Als tells the story of a child for whom any reminders of 9/11 (like fire trucks) would trigger emotionally flooding. With the help of adults, he created his own strategy to calm down. He would put his head down on the table to “think” and would wait until he had “thought enough”—and then he was ready to go on.

From these studies, it is clear that we can help children learn to handle tough times if we enable them to become increasingly active partners in creating their own solutions. It has worked for me and it has worked for my children. What about you?

This story is taken from Mind in the Making.

Communicating—Helping Children Learn to Communicate: Lessons from Anne Fernald

Communicating—Helping Children Learn to Communicate: Lessons from Anne Fernald

This article continues my series to share the research of child development researchers and neuroscientists who have genuinely inspired me to create Mind in the Making. Their work is truly “research to live by!”

I am sharing the story of Anne Fernald of Stanford University because her studies provide important insights into helping children learn to communicate. This is an increasingly salient issue in our times where there is widespread concern that communicating has been reduced to spitting out sound bites rather than illuminating the complexities of situations, texting rather than connecting, and reducing thoughts to 140 characters.

Anne Fernald has been a pioneering researcher in studying the origins of human communication, but she didn’t start out to do this kind of work. Her original interests were in literature. All of that changed when she went to live in Germany, far from home, surrounded by a language, German, that she initially didn’t understand. The stark contrast in the culture and the language caused her to look back not only on her own culture and language in new ways, but also to begin to probe the very nature of communication. This was accelerated by the birth of her two children. Fernald says, “Our children were born there. Becoming a parent in another language is a wonderful experience because it gave me distance.”

Fernald pulled back and observed what happens in everyday moments. She says:

What drew me to the study of language was a moment of epiphany. One of my dear friends had a baby a few months before our second daughter was about to be born, and I was asked to be the godmother of this child. I went to the hospital on the second day and my friend put her newborn child into my hands to introduce us.

To her own surprise, Fernald introduced herself to her godchild in singsong German, “I immediately thought: now where did that come from? Was this a performance for her German-speaking mother? Or was I just intuitively trying to engage with this newborn baby?”

Not only was Fernald acutely aware of her words, but she was also struck by the fact that she was singing them. When her own baby was born a few weeks later, she found herself singing the same kind of melody to her newborn—this time in English.

Fernald’s experiences in a new country led her into what has become a lifelong study of communication, beginning as a volunteer in a scientific center studying infant development in Germany and continuing to graduate school and then to Stanford University, where she is now a professor.

In her own first study, Fernald recorded German mothers talking to their newborns, analyzing the tones of their voices as one would analyze music. She found that the range of their voices stretched across two octaves. She wondered if infants actually prefer this way of talking (called infant-directed speech) to adult-directed speech and she developed one of the first auditory preference methods to address this question. The technique entailed her recording mothers’ adult-directed and infant-directed speech:

I had the moms speak to me and speak to their four-month-old. So the mom might say to me, ‘Well, I don’t take my children out so much, because it’s been raining a lot,’ but to her baby, she says, ‘Hey, sugar bear! Hey, sugar bear!’ I selected little sections of that speech and put them on tape.

Then she “trained” other four-month-olds so that if they turned their heads one way, they heard infant-directed speech, but if they turned them the other way, they heard adult-directed speech. She alternated the sides, so the findings wouldn’t reflect a preexisting preference for the right or left sides, “We found babies would turn more in the direction that would turn on the infant-directed speech.”

The first lesson from Fernald’s research is that we have to be attuned to our children in order to communicate with them. When we are attuned, we adjust what we say to them and how we say it, not just send out random missives of words.

And it’s not just words that we are communicating. Long before babies can understand words that connote feelings, they begin to differentiate among a range of emotions.

Fernald observed that parents also use their tone of voice to manage their infants’ behavior, typically to praise or to prohibit. Curious to know if the parent’s tone by itself was sufficient to regulate the child, she tape-recorded parents saying things that conveyed approval or prohibition in several different languages—French, German, Italian, Japanese, British English, and American English.

She and her colleagues then tested five-month-old American babies with these “messages” in unfamiliar languages:

These little American babies would hear the praise and they would smile and relax; they would hear the prohibition and they would stiffen a little and their eyes would widen. 

These sounds—in a different language, from a total stranger—had predictable effects on babies’ behavior.

The second lesson is that our feelings about our children—of approval or disapproval, for example—are transmitted to them even before they can understand words.

In her most recent research, Fernald has examined how efficiently children process new words. She has created experiments to investigate this: The baby is sitting on mom’s lap in a little booth and there are two pictures on two monitors that the child is looking at, to the left and to the right.

Let’s say that on the left monitor is a picture of a dog and on the right monitor is a picture of a baby, though the positions of these pictures are changed throughout the experiment. When the child hears, “Where’s the baby?” the researchers look at how the child processes this information and when the child begins to shift attention to look at the picture that has just been named. Does the child begin to shift his or her focus upon hearing the first syllable “bay,” or does the child wait until the whole word, “baby,” is said?”

Fernald calls this efficiency of processing or fluency of processing and it develops rapidly from about 12 to 24 months and beyond. She explains that if a child doesn’t need to wait until the end of a word to “grab it,” he or she is ready for the word that comes along next, “When you’re a very young language learner, what comes next is likely to be new, so the more efficiently you can process familiar words, the better able you are to attend to the new information that comes along and potentially make use of it.”

They have found this to be the case. Children who processed language more quickly when they were younger had greater vocabulary growth in their second year.

Children differ in their efficiency in processing language. How parents talk with children matters. In a longitudinal study, Fernald and her colleagues found that the children of mothers who spoke more, used different words for the same object, used different types of words, and spoke in longer phrases to their children at 18 months, not only had larger vocabularies, but were also faster at processing words at twenty-four months. As Fernald puts it, these “little differences can add up to a big effect.”

“For the young child, there are always new things to be learned in almost every sentence they hear. So that advantage, small as it is, can add up to a big advantage later on, because the capacity for learning is then increased,” Fernald says.

The final lesson is that communicating is not talking at children, it is talking with children in a give and take way—the child says something, we elaborate and extend what they say.

In doing so, we are not only providing children with tools for communicating, we are also engaging them in using language to express themselves and to learn about their world. For those who are concerned about communication skills in our society, it is important to remember that having rich and responsive conversations with young children is the foundation for healthy communications in the future.

This story is taken from Mind in the Making.

Beyond ‘Good Job’ – Praise that Pulls for a Child’s Growth and Development

Beyond ‘Good Job’ – Praise that Pulls for a Child’s Growth and Development

Praise is a funny thing. Words of acknowledgment can be the water and sunshine that help children grow into sturdy, confident and capable adults, or they can be the stifling hyperbole that sets a child up to seek approval rather than true accomplishment.

Even from an early age, it matters whether a parent says, “Whoa! You hit that ball really hard,” or “Good job! World’s Best Tee-Baller!” in response to their child’s effort.

There is a lot being written about praising children these days, but some recent literature has also focused on criticizing parents, calling this “world’s-best” language, “overpraising the child” or “overparenting.” According to Ellen Galinsky, chief science officer for the Bezos Family Foundation and author of Mind in the Making: The Seven Essential Life Skills Every Child Needs, labelling parents not only doesn’t get to the heart of the matter, it diminishes the efforts of parents who almost always are trying to do what’s best for their children.

“We live in a world where it’s pretty easy to blame parents,” Galinsky says. “So, I always try to be conscious that we as parents want our children to have as good a life as possible, though we might not always go about it in the most effective way. The most important question for us as parents—or as adults in children’s lives—is to step back and ask ourselves, ‘What do we want for our children—not just right now, but years down the line?’

“I think the role of praise is that of being a facilitator, a prompter of their learning.”

An observer in any public space, anywhere in the country, will hear the Good Job! chorus resounding as parents and caregivers do their best to cheerlead children into a sense of self-worth. The problem with all the “good jobs,” Galinsky says, is that it’s become rote with repetition, an automatic response that can become meaningless to the parents and ultimately meaningless to the child.

The more serious problem with the line of praise that merely tells a child how wonderful their accomplishment is: it isn’t specific to the child’s actual efforts or strategies. Similarly, saying things like “You’re so smart! Look how smart you are!” addresses aspects of the child’s feel-like traits (being smart) and therefore provides little access to action. You’re either smart or you’re not; you’re either the best little athlete in the world or you’re not. The praise of traits and characteristics fosters the child’s desire to hang onto their smartness or cuteness or cleverness that earned the praise, rather than building an eagerness for mastery, a drive to keep taking on new challenges.

“There has been a lot of emphasis in recent years in building a child’s self-esteem and resiliency,” she says. “But I want to see us go a step beyond that. Remember those little figures that, no matter what you did, they would always pop back up? (“Weebles wobble but they don’t fall down!” Who could forget?)

“Well, all that bouncing back and bouncing up again really isn’t taking anyone forward. I’m interested in kids who take the next step forward, who try harder. The challenges we encounter in life aren’t predictable—I mean, look at this pandemic year—and we want kids who can take on those challenges.”

In considering the relationship of praise to a child’s development, Galinsky points to the groundbreaking work of Dr. Carol S. Dweck, author of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, whose decades-long work on mindsets and motivation has distinguished the types of feedback that can encourage a child to seek challenge and pursue accomplishment, or to seek praise and look for the easy way out.

“Carol Dweck started doing her work during the whole self-esteem movement in the 1990s. She told me that at that time, the self-esteem gurus were telling parents and teachers, ‘You must praise your child at every opportunity. Tell them how talented and brilliant they are. This is going to give them confidence and motivation.’ Dweck was actually interested in students’ attitudes toward failure. She asked the question, ‘Who are the children who wilt in the face of challenge?’” From that seminal question and many studies, Dweck coined the terms “fixed mindset” and “growth mindset” to describe why some students were devastated by even modest setbacks and some would persevere when challenged.

As it turns out, telling a child “You’re so beautiful. You’re so smart. You’re such a good athlete” actually had the opposite effect from what was intended. Rather than building self-esteem, it created a fear of risking the inevitable mistakes humans make when they’re learning something new. The child digs in and hangs on, developing a fixed mindset that resists risk, which is a part of all learning.

Parental hyperbole can actually increase a child’s insecurity—and may reflect their own. The parent may be afraid that the day their child stops being amazing, they’re toast. That’s a lot of freight for tiny shoulders. The grandiosity can also make cynics of children who have keen built-in baloney detectors and know Grandma is making stuff up when she says they’re the genius of all geniuses. What else is she being insincere about?

Sometimes a parent’s endless praise can also push the child away from what started out being a pleasurable activity. The child is painting and just wants to keep exploring with textures and colors, but suddenly Mom is telling everyone what a brilliant artist she is and showing everyone who walks in the house the amazing pictures the child has created. The kid just wants to see if mixing yellow and blue together actually will make green and suddenly, it’s all performance art and zero fun.

Galinsky says this doesn’t mean that parents shouldn’t say anything or that caregivers should ignore achievement.

“Children want to learn. They want to explore, and we don’t need to step completely out of the way, but we need to see if we can help them figure out what they did and what they’ve learned from it. How can they do it again? Let them do things for themselves and ask questions about their strategy. ‘You worked really hard to figure out what happened when you mixed colors together. What did you do to get that new color?’ underscores their agency in a way that ‘You tried so hard’ really doesn’t.

“Prompting them to consider how they accomplished something helps keep the fire for learning burning in children’s eyes,” she says. “When we look at newborns and try to figure out what they’re learning, we (researchers) notice what they’re looking at. When they’ve had enough, they move on to something new. Children explore. They don’t need to be taught to be creative or rewarded for their explorations. The learning is the reward.”

And that, she says, is the difference between intrinsic motivation and extrinsic reward. Babies who are encouraged to maintain their own motivation will usually stay self-motivated, lifetime learners as they go through life. Little ones who get a reward for solving a puzzle, for example, may then want to be rewarded as they get older.

“There are endless books about the number of kids in college who are struggling. Some of them may have gone from a life where they were always praised for being wonderful and they were used to having people fix problems for them, rather than helping them learn to fix things for themselves. Suddenly, there may be no one around at college who’s going to do that for them, and they can feel very lost.”

It’s important to remember that none of the habits we as parents and caregivers have picked up are set in stone. Advances in neuroscience have revealed just how plastic and malleable even adult brains are and how all of us can learn new ways of doing things. For big people as well as little ones, mindsets can change and an orientation for growth can become just as much a part of the wiring as those less-effective approaches have been. As is evident on every page of Mind in the Making, Galinsky is a major cheerleader for those who are doing their best to raise healthy, well-rounded children.

She’s just not likely to be yelling, “Good JOB!” from the sidelines.

Reprinted from Early Learning Nation

A Seismic Shift: Economic Policy is Child Development Policy

A Seismic Shift: Economic Policy is Child Development Policy

Dr. Aber is an advisor to Mind in the Making and Bezos Family Foundation’s other early learning program, Vroom. He has been a tireless advocate and researcher on poverty-reduction strategies for more than three decades. He was also on the 15-person panel that advised on the groundbreaking 2019 National Academies of Sciences, Engineering and Mathematics report: A Roadmap to Reducing Child Poverty.

On March 11, the American Rescue Plan Act was signed into law. Several elements of this time-limited legislation have been widely heralded as having the potential to cut child poverty in half. Within the bill, the 2021 Child Tax Credit provisions have been described as a “revolutionary in the way the U.S. government regards minors.” In short, this law:

  • Increases the maximum annual credit from $2,000 per child under 17 to $3,000 per child (under 18) or $3,600 (children younger than 6) for 2021.
  • Makes the credit fully refundable. While the 2020 tax credit was partially refundable (the credit offset taxpayers’ tax liability), the 2021 credit is fully refundable. This means the credits can take tax liability below zero and this amount is refunded in cash to the taxpayer.
  • Advance funds to eligible taxpayers on a monthly basis rather than at the end of the year.

To learn more about the research behind this approach, Elyse Rowe, director of communications and Ellen Galinsky, chief science officer at the Bezos Family Foundation sat down with internationally recognized expert in child development and social policy, Dr. Lawrence Aber of New York University. Among his many accomplishments, Dr. Aber previously served as director of the National Center for Children in Poverty at Columbia University and was part of the panel for the National Academies of Sciences, Engineering and Mathematics groundbreaking 2019 report: A Roadmap to Reducing Child Poverty, which was instrumental to the passage of 2021 Child Tax Credit provisions. He’s also an advisor for Bezos Family Foundation’s early learning programs.


Question: You have researched issues related to child poverty for over 30 years. Can you tell us about the role research has played in supporting this new policy approach?

Back in the mid-1990’s, when I was the Director of the National Center for Children and Poverty, one could only dream of drawing upon a set of clear and strongly evidence-based policy ideas that could actually improve the problem of childhood poverty dramatically.

Since then, there’ve been hundreds of researchers in the country, myself included, who have been working on this in one way or another. These studies included: 1) descriptive, “accounting“ studies showing that investments can actually lead to, or at least be associated with, poverty reductions; 2) studies of the effects of poverty on the developing brain, and 3) causal studies showing that if you reduce child poverty, you improve kids’ health and development. It took 25 or 30 years of persistent work to accumulate this kind of research base.

Question: Tell us about the studies you conducted.

I’ve done random assignment experiments testing poverty-reduction strategies like conditional cash transfers, on family income, family poverty and on children’s development. We found that if we reduce poverty, we can improve children’s development. I’ve also done descriptive studies identifying several potential pathways by which low family income and high material hardship affect children’s health and development. We found, for example, that family stress links material hardship to adverse social-emotional outcomes and that family investments link low-income to adverse cognitive and academic outcomes.

These and many other studies in the fields of developmental science, social science, behavioral science, policy science, economics, communication science as well as decades of policy experimentation laid the groundwork so that the National Academies of Sciences consensus report could be written.

Question: You were part of the 15-member expert panel authoring this report. Tell us about its findings.

It basically found three things: The first is that poverty causes child health and development problems. CAUSES. It is not just a correlation. That is a huge scientific conclusion.

Second, we found that current policies reduce child poverty. But you have to measure child poverty in a different, more accurate way than the method used for decades, the “official poverty measure”. The new, more accurate “supplemental poverty measure” takes into account the benefits received by families and the expenses they had to pay like health insurance and child care.

The third thing we found was that the nation could create packages of policy proposals that reduced child poverty and had a positive effect on employment among low-income workers. Historically and politically, some researchers and policy makers made the argument that if you increase cash benefits to families, they’ll quit working. No, they won’t; not if you implement the right packages of policies.

In addition, the National Academies of Sciences report found that if you give families a tax relief credit or allowance per child on a monthly basis, families do not spend this new income on “vices”. Rather, they spend the money on things like food, rent and not accumulating debt. It is income instability, as much as low income, that is damaging to families. With a lump sum paid annually, it is used productively to pay off big debts and/or to make purchases of durable goods that are very expensive, like a new refrigerator or perhaps now, for internet access for their children. The consistent monthly payments, I think, are better for reducing family stress.

Question: Besides the strong evidence base, what other factors may have helped move this policy forward?

I think the last year has shown that an enormous number of people, through no fault of their own, are vulnerable to shocks that turn over their life, their family’s life, and their community’s life. So many people have been driven into poverty through no fault of their own. The pandemic and the resulting economic crises are exogenous to them; they are not caused by them. This seems to have changed the moral calculus for some people about supporting families and communities under severe economic stress.

Question: In a sentence or two, what should families and other people know about this?

Families should know this is a program to especially help people with lower incomes, but it is also a program to help middle-income families too. So, the fact that eligibility for the child tax credit goes up to $75,000 (for single parents or couples earning up to $150,000) before starting to fade out covers the vast majority of families with kids. The child tax credit is the single biggest anti-poverty tool in the new policy, but improvements in SNAP and child care support, and increases in the earned income tax credit and housing subsidies—these are going to have important anti-poverty effects, too.

Question: Now that the law is passed, what comes next?

Job one is optimal and equitable implementation so everybody who is eligible for these benefits gets them.

Planning for making the provisions permanent is job two. These first two jobs are places where philanthropic and advocacy efforts can play a role.

Third, we should not use lifting some children above the poverty line as the only indicator of success. We also have clear evidence from our report that some of these policies do a better job of lifting kids out of deep poverty than they do out of poverty, and other policies should be considered to help families move from near poverty into self-sufficient, economically stable households.

Fourth and finally, by order of Congress, the report focused solely on strategies that could reduce child poverty within 10 years. There are other strategies, like investments in early childhood and improving school achievement—meritorious in their own rights—that could be seen as part of a longer-term child poverty reduction strategy.

Question: A year from now, what would you hope to see?

I would hope that Americans experience the implementation of a child tax credit as something that is good for the whole nation—not only for kids and families experiencing poverty. And that we continue to see consolidation of the notion that poverty is affected by big exogenous factors that can happen to any of us or any community, albeit with differential effects. I hope we are solidifying our commitment to strategies that offer a form of social protection against those big exogenous forces, and that the provisions either become permanent or get negotiated so that they are not degraded, but gain broader political support and are implemented.

This involves an ideological shift in the philosophy of public policy. The child tax credit, the child poverty reduction provisions, are both a contributor and a benefactor to that ideological shift.

I hope that we become more evidence-based in our policy debates, but also consistent with a different moral and ethics, too. It is not just the science; it’s the science interpreted in the context of certain human and social values that are critical.

Dr. Lawrence Aber

A Work in Progress: How Mount Sinai Parenting Center Is Bringing the Science of Child Development into Pediatric Education

A Work in Progress: How Mount Sinai Parenting Center Is Bringing the Science of Child Development into Pediatric Education

With 7,400 physicians on staff, New York City’s Mount Sinai Hospital is one of the nation’s oldest and largest teaching hospitals. More than 16,000 babies are delivered in this hospital system every year. The pediatric hospital provides everything from primary care to liver transplants. Mount Sinai’s pediatric residency program takes on 22 new doctors per year. Recently, this highly regarded program has undertaken a revolutionary new approach to training, which may be destined to transform pediatric education all over the country.

The Keystones of Development curriculum, an online, self-directed platform, currently is being piloted at eight residency programs across the country. Preliminary results are encouraging, with significant shifts in pediatricians’ knowledge, behavior and confidence. The modules are winning praise from residents. One used all caps in her concise review: “I LOVE THEM.” Another commented “It’s something that I started using the very next day with a lot of my parents.”

This week, Keystones of Development is taking the next step on its journey to scale, with a workshop at the annual gathering of the Association of Pediatric Program Directors in New Orleans. The goal is to get this curriculum into every pediatric residency program in the country.

To understand this breakthrough, think about how preventive medicine—for example, immunizations and antibiotics—has changed medicine in recent decades. Children are surviving diseases that were once considered death sentences. At the same time, pediatricians are seeing an increase in behavioral and developmental issues and are fielding questions from parents regarding tantrums and timeouts.

Noticing these trends, Dr. Blair Hammond, 2010 winner of the Mount Sinai Excellence in Teaching Award, found herself frequently seeking the advice of her friend, Dr. Aliza Pressman, a developmental psychologist. The Division Chief of Developmental Pediatrics at Mount Sinai, Dr. Eyal Shemesh, was enthusiastic about inviting Dr. Pressman to teach about the everyday questions that parents have regarding their children’s behavior and emotional development, with a focus on promoting optimal development. Eventually, this partnership gave rise to the Mount Sinai Parenting Center, with Dr. Carrie Quinn coming on as executive director. Another member of the interdisciplinary team was social worker Mariel Benjamin, from the department of maternal child health. The Mount Sinai Parenting Center’s first big undertaking: the reinvention of how pediatric residents are trained.

All pediatricians must complete at least a three-year residency. They learn about how to care for premature babies, how to diagnose meningitis and which vaccine to give. They study the treatment for pneumonia and the signs of autism. Historically, however, they’ve been missing one huge piece of the puzzle—the developing mind.

“We have people who are new to being doctors,” Dr. Hammond says, “meeting with people who are new to being parents.” On both sides, there’s a feeling of inadequacy, and in between them is the child—who’s new at being a person.

One of the first resources that the team turned to was Ellen Galinsky’s Mind in the Making (2010), a groundbreaking and highly readable synthesis of research on mental development. Galinsky summarizes recent experiments illuminating the elasticity of baby’s brains. “Yes, babies’ capacities are truly amazing,” she writes. “But even more amazing is that we now know how to take advantage of these capacities to help babies, and their older sisters and brothers, develop the essential life skills that will serve them throughout their lives.”

Although the text was considered too deep a dive for Sinai’s residents, the center continues to use it for social workers, child life specialists and other professionals. For pediatric residents, finding time for educational initiatives can be difficult. Eighty-hour weeks and the stress of being thrust into new situations contribute to fatigue and anxiety.

“It’s about fitting teachable moments into care. Everyday health care moments become opportunities to impart broader parenting skills.” —Aliza Pressman, Ph.D.

One thing became clear: residents wanted not only foundational knowledge but also tips on what to say in the exam room with patients and families. How could new doctors learn to fit this script into their brief 15-minute well visits with children? That was the challenge.

“It’s about fitting teachable moments into care,” says Dr. Pressman. “Everyday health care moments become opportunities to impart broader parenting skills.” Take a routine vaccination, for example. The program reminds residents to notice how parents comfort their children and how powerful that connection can be in helping their child get through a difficult challenge. Another tip for the new doctors is giving young patients the option: Do you want me to examine your ears first, or your eyes? And then turning to the parent and observing that being able to make choices increases a child’s sense of agency.

Knowing the audience is a key to the curriculum’s philosophy. According to the American Board of Pediatrics, 70 percent of pediatric residents are women. Dr. Hammond notes that 60 percent are graduates of U.S. medical schools, with the remainder coming from foreign medical schools and from institutions like St. George’s University School of Medicine on the Caribbean island of Grenada, which specializes in training American students. They are mostly in their mid- to late- twenties, and most don’t have children of their own.

Keystones of Development is free, quick and even accessible on a smartphone—in other words, it’s made for millennials. Each of the twelve modules focuses on a small number of concrete skills for building vital parent-child connections.

For Dr. Pressman, Sinai’s program embodies the principle that every health care encounter is an opportunity to foster supporting parents and families. She notes that 99 percent of children are born in a hospital. “That’s an opportunity,” she maintains, “to meet parents where they are and provide them with tools and support from the beginning.” These opportunities continue throughout the first five years, with an average of 15 well-child visits and numerous sick visits.

In many instances, the pediatrician is a parent’s only trustworthy source of information and encouragement. The Mount Sinai Parenting Center is making sure these doctors are equipped to model and support behavior that promotes development. Something as simple as how parents speak to their infants can make significant differences in the their language development. “It takes 30 seconds, and it truly matters,” Dr. Pressman says.

As she prepared for the New Orleans conference, Dr. Hammond reflected on the magnitude of their undertaking: “We’re trying to change the whole culture of pediatrics.”

The Keystones of Development curriculum is free to all training programs. To find out more, contact Sarah Whitney at (212) 241-2772 or sarah.whitney@mssm.edu.

Reprinted with permission from Early Learning Nation

 

Darlene Clemens: A Champion for Science Nurtures an Early Learning Community

Darlene Clemens: A Champion for Science Nurtures an Early Learning Community

Becoming a community champion for science was not what Dr. Darlene Clemens of Port Angeles, WA, envisioned when she retired from a successful 36-year career as a teacher and a principal. “I was going to learn French; I was going to learn how to play the piano and travel,” she said.

Her plans began to change in 2013, when Clemens wrote a letter to Ellen Galinsky, author of Mind in the Making: Seven Essential Life Skills Every Child Needs. And so began a five-year correspondence with the then-stranger Galinsky affectionately now calls, “Dear Darlene.”

Galinsky describes how it happened:

In 2013, I received a letter from someone I didn’t know. She wrote, “My name is Darlene Clemens and I want to use your book Mind in the Making as a resource to the families and professionals in northwestern Washington State.”

Of course, I was thrilled. I have always likened writing and publishing a book to casting it into a dark sea. You never know where, when or even if it will bob up. Of course, all authors hope their books will make a difference.

In 2014, I heard from Darlene again. This time, I was more than thrilled: I was inspired. As the consummate educator, Darlene, along with her husband, Michael, accomplished something creative, fun and very sharable by organizing the Mind in the Making book into 93 practical mini-messages. These tips are sent every Monday morning to more than 1,300 parents and teachers in the Port Angeles public schools.

Because Clemens believes so strongly that research should lead to action, her work with the Mind in the Making (MITM) program has sparked other work in the schools. In the Jefferson Elementary School, the Mind in the Making booklists that promote skills are displayed on a bulletin board created by the school counselor, Vicki Rockholt, and children actively select skills in themselves to promote.

In the Roosevelt Elementary School, Principal Michelle Olsen, promotes brain-based instruction and trauma-informed practices, including a space where children who are feeling stressed can recover, learn how to self-regulate and develop life skills.

In October 2018, Galinsky traveled to Washington State to meet Darlene and Michael Clemens, to see the work in action, and to make presentations to families and professionals in this burgeoning early learning community.

Over a recent pancake breakfast with Darlene and Michael Clemens in lovely Port Angeles, Galinsky and Darlene discussed the beginnings of this early childhood initiative.

Galinsky: How did you find my book?

Clemens: I discovered Mind in the Making through Norma Turner. Norma’s an activist and has done wonderful things in the community. She started an organization called Prevention Works! that purchased 100 copies of Mind in the Making and gathered all kinds of people in the community to read them. And then we got together in small groups to discuss it. As I’m sitting at my house reading Mind in the Making — I was barely into it — but it was like “Where was this book when I was raising my kids?” So I just started outlining it because I knew I had to do something with it. I just didn’t know what.”

Galinsky (laughing): And that “what” became your need to synthesis the science of early learning into life skills available to parents and others who interact with children.

Clemens: Yes, in a letter to the community, I wrote: “Because I know how busy your lives are and how little time you have for reading an entire book, my husband and I divided the book into 93 mini-messages for you.”

Galinsky: This is brilliant. So you’ve completed this remarkable synthesis. What was the next challenge?

Clemens: Well, we needed a way to get the mini-messages out into the community. Since my background is in education, we began with the school system.In March 2014, I started attending school events again. I went to all of the Parent Teacher Organization meetings. I went to all the teacher-staff meetings. We have an event called Kids Fest in the early winter where parents bring their children, and I went there.

We started an e-list and organized it into groups: for families and for professionals. We have also created lists by children’s age, including babies, which led to creating a booklet just for babies that we distribute throughout the community. We also make bookmarks.

Galinsky: And now, four years later, are you still attending all these meetings and events?

Clemens: No, we no longer have to do that. This initiative has become part of the community fabric. Each fall, when the kindergarten teachers meet with parents, they sign them up to get the messages so all I have to do is add the new subscribers to our list.

Galinsky: Have you heard from people who use the tips?

Clemens: Yes, which is always gratifying. For example, a father recounted how his baby was crying hysterically and he couldn’t calm him down. He walked the baby over to the light switch — a suggestion from the mini-messages to promote the skill of focus — and the baby stopped crying right away!”

Want to start your week by receiving Darlene and Michael Clemens’ mini-messages each Monday morning? Contact: Dr.DarleneClemens@olypen.com

Additional Information In addition to their mini-messages work, Darlene and Michael began alerting families and professionals to the resources that the MITM program has created, along with Vroom resources, including:

First Book — a MITM library of children’s books with free tips on how to read them in ways that promote life skills

Skill-Building Opportunities — downloadable tip sheets that show how to turn challenging times (like parents who disagree on child rearing or screen time) into opportunities to promote life skills; and

Vroom — the Bezos Family Foundation program that offers 1000+ tips that turn the time parents already have with their children into brain-building moments.

Photo: Vicki Rockholt, a counselor at Jefferson Elementary School, Ellen Galinsky and Darlene Clemens take a break in front of the Mind in the Making bulletin board. Children actively select skills to promote in themselves. (Photograph by Michael Clemens)

Reprinted from Early Learning Nation

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